


A Session at the Therapist's

by orphan_account



Category: Angel: the Series
Genre: Gen, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-01-05
Updated: 2010-01-05
Packaged: 2017-10-05 21:02:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/46001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>For some reason, Angelus and the therapist don't get along.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Session at the Therapist's

**Author's Note:**

> For faithhopetricks.

THERAPIST, from behind bars, wearing a cross, and wielding a holy water squirt gun: Hello, Angelus.

ANGELUS: I knew I should have eaten Freud while I had the chance, but the man was clearly going to do an epic amount of damage himself so I foolishly let him live.

THERAPIST: So, you feel that you should have attacked Freud.

ANGELUS: Isn't that what I just said? *long pause* Oh. You're a _Rogerian_ therapist.

THERAPIST: Is there something about that conclusion that disturbs you?

ANGELUS: *ignoring that remark* You're not very well-armed if you're playing junior vampire hunter.

THERAPIST: Ex-Watcher, actually.

ANGELUS: It figures I always end up with the Watcher rejects.

THERAPIST: Are you referring, by chance, to your colleague Wesley Wyndham-Pryce?

ANGELUS: Please. Angel's friends aren't mine.

THERAPIST: Who would you consider a friend?

ANGELUS: *snrk* I'm a _vampire_. Look us up in the Watcher Almanac of Evil Creatures. We don't do friends.

THERAPIST: And yet you were attached to Darla for many years.

ANGELUS: What can I say, she was superb in bed.

DARLA'S GHOST: Well, yes, I was a _professional_.

ANGELUS: And now you're professionally incorporeal.

DARLA'S GHOST: *coy smile* It isn't about what you reveal; it's about what you _promise_ to reveal. I can be the ultimate tease.

ANGELUS: Aren't you supposed to be good now?

DARLA'S GHOST: You're telling me _you_ subscribe to Joss Whedon's pedestrian and appalling notion that open sexuality and kink are limited to evil people? You disappoint me, Angelus.

THERAPIST: I...seem to have lost control of the session here.

DARLA'S GHOST: _You._ You're not even doing a very good job if you don't recognize that you have a perfect opportunity to observe your client's relationship with his mother.

ANGELUS: You are not--

DARLA'S GHOST: Sire, mother, whatever. *to therapist* Now shut up and pay attention. I have some serious reeducation to do.

ANGELUS: "Reeducation"?

DARLA'S GHOST: Hush. I can't let you go back to Connor like this. *to Faith* Have you got Willow on the phone _yet_?

FAITH: I'm working on it, I'm working on it! Whoever invented cellphones should be shot.

ANGELUS: Strangely, I feel like I've said something like that before.


End file.
